For Father's Day this year I flew back home to Oregon to surprise my father. I have not missed Oregon in the 15 years since I moved to Arizona. I love AZ. But being home and being with my family, those people who 15 years ago I did not get along with so well, really made me consider packin it up and movin back home.
There was a feeling of safety that I have not felt in years. Like I could let my children outside and they wouldn't disappear. All the neighbors that were there when I grew up are still there! 15 years I had been gone and I still knew almost everyone.
I miss being able to walk into my backyard and plant something without it having to be a cactus that will hurt like hell when the kids run into it. The cherry tree in my dad's backyard that I used to climb as a kid was still there and as I climbed it at the age of 32, sat in the branches enjoying cherries so fresh they melted in my mouth and spat the pits at whomever dared walk under my domain, I realized that this was something that my own children would never experience. All of the memories I have of growing up are things that my own children may very well never know.
I can't explain it but things just felt simpler there. More relaxed and definately cleaner. Taking in a deep breath of that wonderfully clean air was so refreshing. Looking out across the horizon and seeing beautiful skies and clear mountains, nothing obscured by hazy brown clouds. I wonder if these feelings were supported by the fact that Oregon represents the innocence of my childhood. Did it feel safer and cleaner because that is how I saw it as a child or is it really that way compared to the dirty, dangerous place I live now?
How do you move back home after 15 years? Where do you live? How do you support your family? How do you leave your family here in exchange for the family there? And what if after you give up everything here you get there and realize it was all an illusion?
~Darlin~
3 comments:
perhaps an extended vacation back to home would be your first course of action just to test the waters..
I am planning on trying to go home for 10 days for Christmas....we'll see I guess.
~Darlin~
Jo, as a matter of fact I have recently done just what you propose. For 30 years I've lived away from home (though not NEARLY as far away as you from yours), and recently I have moved back here. My Dad's health is quickly deteriorating, and he needs more help with his farm than Mom can provide. Since I was between jobs, I (somewhat reluctantly) moved back here. So far, it's been somewhat of an adventure to be sure; certainly a mixed bag of good and bad. But certainly not boring, by any stretch...
Yes, you can go home again.
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