My twelve year-old had her first boyfriend this year. This is a boy she goes to school with, in the same grade and he lives very close to us. I am friends with his mother and after several lectures and threats the guidelines to this infant relationship were set.
Two short months later my daughter and I start to hear from other children that her boyfriend is telling them that he is going to break-up with her. The next time I saw the boy I asked him if this was true. He smiled a cocky little smile and said, "Yes".
"When were you going to tell her?". I asked
"When I get to it.", he replied.
"Consider it gotten to!", I barked.
So I talk to my daughter thinking (like an idiot) that this will not phase her but the second the words left my mouth I could see her beautiful little heart sink. I could see her fighting to keep the tears back and it ripped my heart out. I put my arms around her and told her how sorry I was. I also told her that it was not my place to end her relationship and that perhaps she should talk to him and find out what was happening.
She did and he apologized to her and to me. He said that the other kids were giving him a hard time and he just wanted to shut them up. I again told my daughter that what she did was up to her and to my dismay (which I kept to myself) she gave him a second chance.
My heart swelled with pride and I realized just how much my daughter listened to me when , while having my ear plastered to the other side of the front door, I heard her tell him, "If you ever disrespect me like that again I'll replace you with someone bigger, stronger and way better looking!"
So in the end I guess things worked out but I will never forget the rage and helplessness I felt when I saw the hurt in my little girl's eyes and for the first time I truly realized that I can't fix all the problems and I can't keep them safe from all the pain. All I can do is be there to listen and give them my lap to cry in while I plan the torture and dismemberment of whomever caused it (secretly of course). ;-)
8 comments:
I love the final cut to all this to all this!
My heart swelled with pride though and I realized just how much my daughter listened to me when , while having my ear plastered to the other side of the front door, I heard her tell him, "If you ever disrespect me like that again I'll replace you with someone bigger, stronger and way better looking!"
Something tells me that she's had her ear plastered to the other side of mama's door on occasion...lol
She takes good notes I tell ya!
You should submit this on 'Hot Mama Sauce'..Morgy would love to have it aboard!
~writes this one down~
My sentiments exactly Ambre -- Darlin! Submit it! It's beautiful. It would definitely fit the theme of HMS.
Well Darlin, It was good that you didn't end it for her and you continued to let her see for herself just where the relationship was headed she seems like a very smart young lady.
A really sweet account of one of lifes earliest lessons.
Will you be my mummy please?
Hi Darlin Jo, Thanks for being a mom that listens. Nice blog by the way. Deirdre
If you ever want a job you can come and sort my girls out
toadee it would be an honor...thank you that is really a great compliment...
~Darlin~
Hey dear, wouldn't mind and all :) Thanks for the comment! Means a lot. Stay a great mother and do enJoy+
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